What I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Mom of 4

When I became a mom for the first time, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what life would look like. By the time baby number four arrived I realized motherhood is full of surprises that no one warns you about.

If I could sit down with my younger self before having four kids, here is what I would tell her.

Every Baby Is Different

I assumed after my first baby that I had figured it out. Then came baby number two who had an entirely different personality. Baby number three brought her own quirks. Baby number four completely changed everything I thought I knew.

Just because one baby sleeps through the night early does not mean the next one will. If potty training is easy with one child it does not mean it will be easy with the others. Each child is their own little person and what worked before might not work again.

The “Lasts” No One Talks About

Everyone talks about first words, first steps and first birthdays. No one tells you how quietly the “lasts” happen.

There is a last time they crawl into your lap. A last time they mispronounce a word in that adorable way. A last time you carry them on your hip.

Those moments slip away without warning and I wish I had slowed down to notice them more.

Sleep Does Not Magically Return

Here is something I wish someone had been honest about. You really do not get good sleep until they start school.

Even when they are not babies anymore, someone always needs something in the middle of the night. It could be bad dreams, sickness or growing pains. After four kids I have accepted that a solid night’s sleep is rare for a long time.

The Days Are Long But the Years Are Short

It sounds cliché but it is so true. The days feel endless when you are cleaning up messes, breaking up fights and tripping over toys.

Then suddenly they are taller, more independent and need you just a little bit less. Looking back I realize how fast each stage flew by even the hard ones.

Buy the Toys

Yes they take up space. Yes they get left out. And yes they make your house feel cluttered.

Toys are such a short lived phase of childhood. One day they will stop asking for them. I wish I had stressed less about the mess and just let them enjoy it while they could.

What I Have Learned as a Mom of 4

• Give yourself grace. Perfection is not the goal.
• Every stage is temporary even the exhausting ones.
• Memories are made in the small ordinary moments.

Motherhood with four kids is beautifully messy. It is loud, exhausting and full of surprises. It is also full of love, laughter and joy I never could have imagined.

If you are a mom in the trenches right now take a breath. You are doing better than you think and these years are more fleeting than they feel.